Connie's New Standup Special:The 5150 States of America!(Comcast Channel 17 Sacramento)Edited for General Audience Viewing
To listen to my music samples, click on the left nav bar where it says "MUSIC DEMOS"
To check out some of my standup comedy sets, SCROLL DOWN ON THIS PAGE below the bio/introduction portion.
To watch a clip from my special, rare interview with comedy legend Jonathan Winters, scroll down on this page past the standup comedy clips portion
May 28th (Saturday Memorial Day Weekend) I will be performing my solo act at the beautiful and tasty Julietta Winery in Clarksburg (So. Sacramento).
May 29th (Sunday Memorial Day Weekend) My CAPITOL BLUES JAM rocks the north steps of the California STATE CAPITOL from 2 to 6pm.
June 10th (Friday) I will be performing my standup comedy at "COMEDY OAKLAND" at THE SPICE MONKEY. Show begins at 9:30pm.
For more details on upcoming peformance dates, including my CAPITOL BLUES JAM, click on the left nav bar where it says "CALENDAR"...
CONNIE BRYAN: COMEDIAN, WRITER & MUSICIAN
I don't know about you guys, but I'm really getting concerned about the state of our country today...We are no longer the United States of America...We're the "YOU GOTTA BE F#%KING KIDDING ME States of America", with this bat shit crazy, "KU KLUX KLAN HAS TALENT," reality show IDIOCRACY that has hijacked our democracy in this country...
We used to have "MUST SEE TV"...Do you remember "MUST SEE TV?" Now we've got "MUST HAVE A TRAILER and KY JELLY TV," with this Republican D*CK measuring, Donald Trump, Duck Dynasty, Kardashian, Swamp Porn/Pawn Stars, Alabama Antique Ass Pickin', Sarah Palin hybrid of a 5150 FEST!
That's what we are, we aren't the 50 States anymore, we're now the 5150 States of America.
And the only way the other HALF of us have been able to maintain our sanity and not get caught up in this "National Trump Retardation Epidemic" is we've had to compromise our values, and bring our standards down to an UNCONSCIONABLE, EMBARASSINGLY LOW level.
I remember a time when our values and standards in America used to be tall and strong, like the Statue of Liberty...Now they're so low they're just this creeping primordial ooze, the color of DONALD TRUMP'S HAIR...But hey, at least that explains what the hell that "Cirque de TOUPEE" act is on the top of his head!
HEY EVERYBODY, thanks for checking out the web site! On the left nav bar you can click on music demos to hear some of my music samples. Or just scroll down to find a large selection of my standup comedy and impersonations, including PARTS ONE through FOUR of my funny and informative documentary film I recently completed in 2014 on the open mic standup circuit in L.A., San Francisco and Sacramento.
It's a four part documentary series featuring clips from my act, as well as several other funny comics that caught my attention along the way. It also contains a portion of my rare and priceless interview with my childhood idol, comedy legend Jonathan Winters, who passed away in April of 2013 and will be greatly missed.
Below the documentary segments, you can check out many of my standup demos and comedy sketches, including impersonations of talk radio's Dr. Laura Schlessinger and Howard Stern, and my impersonation of Larry David from HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm", and a clip from my very special interview with my childhood idol, comedy legend Jonathan Winters. (You can also find all my standup and comedy sketches at Youtube/conniebryan.)
I'm a professional musician, songwriter, editorial writer and standup comedian in Sacramento, California. I'm originally from Orlando, Florida, where I was a midday talk radio personality and comedian/instructor for the Improv Comedy Traffic School.
I used to give my traffic school classes a "practical education". For example, whoever it was who started this B.S. that when making a left turn, you have to look "left, right, and then LEFT AGAIN"...clearly must have had OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER! You started off looking left, correct? So if you have to look LEFT AGAIN, shouldn't you have to look RIGHT AGAIN?? And then shouldn't you have to look left AGAIN?? When does it ever stop??
I would always remind my female students in my classes that if you are ever pulled over for suspicion of DUI at night...Remember, it is often dark on the side of the road, so be very careful to make sure you understand WHICH TUBE the officer wants you to blow into!
For the past 10 years I have produced and hosted my comedy/variety cable access TV show "The Connie Bryan Show". The program aired in Santa Barbara from 2002 to 2008, and is currently airing in Sacramento, California for the last 4 years.
Hope to see you at one of my live performance dates soon...including "THE CAPITOL BLUES JAM" which features my local Sacramento jam group performing all your favorite Classic Rock and Blues from the 50's to the 80's... If you are a musician and would like to join us, email me at connie[at]conniebryan[dot]com or check out my calendar page on the left nav bar for upcoming dates and locations!
Connie's "Big Break" with her Hotel California Parody: "Days Inn California"
Brainwash in San Francisco: Trump's New Reality Show "KU KLUX KLAN HAS TALENT"
Zoe's in San Francisco: The TRUTH About Story of Abraham & Isaac
Connie Bryan: "American Tomboy"
"Bank Robbers Today" and "Dodge Vs. Honda"
Connie Bryan's Recent Standup in Hollywood, CA
Connie Bryan Performs at Laughs Unlimited
PART ONE Open Mic Standup Documentary
PART TWO Open Mic StandUp Documentary
PART THREE Open Mic Standup Documentary
PART FOUR Open Mic Standup Documentary
Connie Bryan "Condoms for Children?"
"The Best Part of Waking Up"
Connie Bryan at the Ha Ha Club in Hollywood, CA
Connie Bryan on "Tongue Rings"
Connie Bryan Dirty Trix San Francisco
Connie Bryan's Bob Dylan Impersonation and The REAL Gilligan's Island Theme Song
Connie's Parody of "Hotel California"
"The Comedy Spot" Downtown Sacramento
Connie Bryan Interviews Her Childhood Idol: Comedy Legend Jonathan Winters
Connie Bryan Impersonates Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Connie Bryan Impersonates Larry David and the HBO Hit Series "Curb Your Enthusiasm"
Connie Bryan Impersonates Howard Stern and his 'guest' Quentin Tarantino
Connie's New Original Willie Nelson Parody: "OFF The Road Again"
Standup:Nevada(Ne-VAH-duhh) Say it right!
Connie Bryan Monologue: "SIGNS" of the Times
Connie Bryan's First Parody of the Popular DirecTV Commercials
Connie Bryan's Second Parody of DirecTV Commercials
Some Recent Standup at Tommy T's Comedy Club in Sacramento, CA
CLICK ON CONNIE TO WATCH HER STAND-UP AT THE FAMOUS ICE HOUSE IN PASADENA, CALIFORNIA
CONNIE BRYAN'S IMPERSONATION OF LARRY DAVID
CONNIE BRYAN IMPERSONATES MARTHA STEWART...On day one of her prison term, Martha Stewart fires her loser lawyer.
CONNIE BRYAN IMPERSONATES SANTA BARBARA MAYOR MARTY BLUM: On Remote With Her Radio Show, The Mayor Strongly Defends "Medicinal Marijuana" While Interviewing The Editor of the local "Daily Sound" Newspaper
CONNIE BRYAN'S IMPERSONATION OF HILLARY CLINTON
CONNIE BRYAN IMPERSONATES ABC'S JOHN STOSSEL, COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING LABELED A 'DIFFICULT PERSON' BY HIS BOSS
OUR MOTTO IS "TEN MINUTES OR LESS, OR WE'RE UNDER ARREST!"... WATCH THE "CONNIE'S PIZZA" SKETCH NOW!
RALPH'S SUPERMARKET SKETCH...(In the Style of Carol Burnett) Because of low wages and bad healthcare insurance, Connie can't afford to go to the hospital, and has to deliver her baby "on the job"
FOR SOME MORE LAUGHS, WATCH CONNIE'S IMPERSONATION OF BILL O'REILLY/THE O'REILLY FACTOR ON THE "VIDEO CLIPS" PAGE, OR SCROLL DOWN FOR SOME MORE STAND UP CLIPS
WATCH "THE BUSINESS CARDS" SKETCH NOW...
SEE "PHOTO GALLERY" FOR MORE OF THE MANY FACES OF JONATHAN WINTERS!
(PHOTOS BY LAUREN PETERSON)
SPECIAL THANKS TO MARK RAVITZ FOR HELPING ME BUILD THIS INTERACTIVE WEBSITE FOR THE SHOW! MARK'S COMPANY IS "AFFORDABLE WEBWORK"...HIS LINK IS FOUND BELOW.