I’d like to do my impersonation of today’s ‘WOKE’ White Liberal Democrats on their ‘first date’, compared to today’s average white Conservative Republicans on their first date…

First, the Republicans:

Guy: This is so nice, I’m glad you don’t mind the food court at Costco, Chick Filet still only has drive thru service right now.

Girl: (with mouth full, chewing) No this is GREAT, their pizza is to DIE for! And I LOVE that you drive a Ford E350 diesel…Do you mind if I pick up a large crate of toilet paper and a pallet of Roundup weed killer, and toss them in the bed of your truck when we’re done?

Guy: Would I mind?? Are you kidding?? You have me so turned on right now! I was going to wait until later when I take you to the gun section of Walmart, but can I kiss you now?

Girl: I thought you’d never ask!

Now for today’s ‘WOKE’ Liberal Democrats, each sitting ten feet apart from each other in their own city defined, social distancing ‘chalk circle outlines’, in the middle of a city park, near several sleeping homeless people who are sprawled about, also each within their own chalk circle outlines, in Liberal Town, USA:

Guy: I hope you don’t mind my idea of a ‘FASTING FIRST DATE’, where we suffer together by skipping a meal tonight, because there are so many homeless hungry people.

Girl: No I LOVE it! You are right, we should set the example and show everyone else that they should go hungry every day too, to raise awareness.

Guy: I just want to say that I really feel like it was meant to be that I met you when we were looting Macy’s after the BLM event last night.

Girl: Yeah, me too…And thanks for helping me smash that JEWELRY CASE, you are so strong!!

Guy: You have me so hot right now! I was going to wait until later when I lit your incendiary device for you to throw at the riot police, but can I kiss you now?

Girl: Can you KISS ME?? Wait a minute, you do realize we are in the middle of a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC, right?? I mean, screwing is one thing, I’ll %&#! you in the grass right here inside your chalk circle no problem, but if you want to KISS, we BOTH have to wear a f%#%ing MASK!!

Connie Bryan

(Connie Bryan is a writer in Sacramento, CA…She is also the host and producer of ‘The Connie Bryan Show’, airing in 15 cable markets nationwide including Washington D.C. Check out all of her material on her website and blog at www.conniebryan.com)

Connie Bryan, writer, comedian, Conservative, Liberal, Republican, Democrat, Trump, Biden