Connie Bryan Standup Comic and Comedy Writer in Sacramento, CA

Connie Bryan
Standup Comic and Comedy Writer in Sacramento, CA

Facebook should be called “FAKEBOOK”. Everyone seems so worried they don’t have enough ‘friends’ to look popular, they end up stacking their site with weirdos, nymphos and retards. Are you like me…you’d rather have your mother as your only friend than “Amber” holding a vodka in one hand and a topless bar dance pole in the other, trying to sell you on some make-money-at-home scheme?

And seeing the kind of trashy, titty club-looking girls and sex kitten, fake model types many guys like to stack on their Facebook sites, I’m afraid if I’m not careful I’m going to get some kind of S.N.D.(‘SOCIAL NETWORKING DISEASE’…Actually there’s more truth in that than you realize)

I thought as a comedian, that just being faithful to, and imagine this, promoting ONE website – MY SITE, not Facebook’s site – At:
click here
was “hip” on my part. How naive of me! My webdesigner of all people starts berating me for not prostituting myself on a seemingly neverending and yet growing list: “LICKEDIN”,”ASSBOOK”,”F%*KBOOK, “TRIBE”, “BRIBE”(At least at “BRIBE” they are up front about it…you give people money to be your friend, and if they turn out to be a retard or a nympho, you report them and get a refund, hopefully before you contract their S.N.D.).

It’s just so sad how pretentious and ‘plastic’ of a society America is becoming. California, where I live, sets the pace. Contrary to what many think, they don’t call it “Silicone Valley” for the “chip factories”… it’s for the “TIT FACTORIES”.

Have you heard scientists have now figured out how to clone cats and dogs? I suppose it was time for this…everybody’s on “FAKEBOOK” with their FAKE FRIENDS, walking around with fake noses, fake boobs, WHY NOT FAKE PETS.

I saw this very well endowed Paris Hilton wannabe on the Santa Monica Promenade last week and I said, “Excuse me, but I have to ask, are those real?” She responded, “The breasts, or the Shitzus?…The boobs are real, but I had the dogs done.”

What’s your opinion?